all about jesus

so im sitting here doing the same thing i do every sunday night and wednesday afternoon...inviting people to church and youth group...it like pulling teeth most of the time. i mean im not asking you to give me your kidney! i get excuses like its not something i like to do on sunday and i dont like church and i have to baby sit. is it so much for people to take two hours of your busy week to go to church. i mean jesus christ died a horrible death for you and you wont even sit through a two hour sermon. i love the im too tired to go or im just so exhausted...well i always feel completely relaxed after church. another thing the other day at work a co-worker asked me who the was working with us and i told her and her reply stunned me...she said oh no is that the one that talkes about jesus all the time?! she said it like it was such a bad thing...like the name Jesus is some kind of taboo. it got to me. it made me step back and think...when people here my name will they think oh that the girl thats all about jesus,m and wouldnt we all be better off if we were a little more about jesus.

well ive got a few more people to harass (:

my testimony

about a year ago i was the lowest point in my young life, i was doing so many drugs and i drank aye-lot! now looking back on some of my "close calls" i see the blessings that i was to messed up to see back then. looking back i see the amazing way that god works and we may not even know it at the time. i remember a situation in which me and a friend snuck a large amount of alcohol into my good friend amandas car without her knowing. amanda has never done anything illegal in her life and my little stunt could and would have landed us all in jail (being minors at the time) for a very long time. i remember the panic i felt as the cop started fallowing us...and i remember the feeling of defeat as the lights came on and i remember the feeling of relief when the cop turned to assist the fender bender that had just occurred ten feet away... then there was the time i almost died...the time i should have died...most people would have died after taking all those pills then mixing it with all that alcohol...but no not me. that was a bad time...my life seemed to spiral down from there. my home life became unbarable. i remember fighting all the time with my parents, i remember wishing my overdose had killed me.

it was just after church camp when i realized what my life was missing. Jesus Christ. i decided to rededicate my life to him. i shocked alot of people...people who knew the old me...people who are still waiting for me to fail. i lost alot of friends. but i gained so much more. maybe this has been on my mind so much because im at the one year anniversary and when i look back at who i was then and who i am now i pray that i never return to that. i now see that all those "close calls" were god giving me yet another chance because he has a plan for me. and now that im no longer fighting it i am a willing vessel.

awall the blogger...ha.

so this is my first blog post on my first real blog and for now im going to keep it short and sweat because i have a splitting head ache and it late and im a loud typer lol. i decided that a blog would be a good idea for me because i have a hard time expressing myself to people. i dont like to let people know about the battles i deal with every single day because it feels like weakness i dont like not being able to handle everything all the time. latley i havent been sleeping even more than usual...and ive been having more of those nights...the ones where all the stuff ive been burrying deap resurfaces and im left feel weak and sorry for myself and greatfull that my family is asleep. so i figured it was time to do something. so now im a blogger...lets see what the all hype is about.